I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
