He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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