I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Omg I joined a choir last night...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
