with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize