i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I touched a dick in church today
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
