Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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