That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
