She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
