Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
