Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
