Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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