I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize