Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
