SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
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