I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
