Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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