I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
