Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You can't just leave with hair like that
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
