She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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