do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
