There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
