I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Randomize