3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize