Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
