You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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