I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
