Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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