I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i may or may not be watching the land before time
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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