just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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