He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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