she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
