Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Randomize
