her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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