i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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