Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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