Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
May the power of my ass compel you!!
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