Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
