Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
