Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
