tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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