You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
