I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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