just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
