$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
