Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
