she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Someone came in the potted fern
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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