Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
My bed smells like the plague
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
