I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
