So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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