"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
if i can run in heels then i can drive
wakey wakey hands off snakey
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
