Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
