My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
