White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
