Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize