Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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