my vag is so smooth its legendary
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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