my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
