maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Randomize
