She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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