"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
When did we convert life to cartoon?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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