The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
