We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize