i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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