Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize