He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
