happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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