I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
