nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Operation Purity has been aborted
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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