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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
why is half of my head shaved?
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