I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i can't believe i had my finger in that
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
