i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize