we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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